His Comfort

About two weeks ago, one of my darling cats passed away. His name was Tommy and I frequently liked to call him "my child", he was still pretty small seeing that he was only about six months old when he passed away and it just seems like I could tell that he loved me perhaps as much as I loved him. His passing happened very unexpectedly, just like it had to one of my very dear dog's a couple years ago.

Daddy, Elizabeth, Abigail, and I were coming home from Awana/youth group and we had had a good night at church, as we usually do. But right before we pulled into our driveway, we saw something on the road. At first, I thought it was an opossum, but then to my terror, I realized the horrible truth, it was my baby cat, lying dead on the road. I immediately began balling, crying out, "No! No! Not again! No! No!" Daddy pulled into the driveway a little and stopped. He began rubbing my back, saying gently, "I'm sorry Sarah", as I crunched over crying very hard. "No, not my Tommy! No!" I know it sounds dramatic and perhaps silly, but my heart just goes out to animals. When I love an animal deeply, I love it with all my heart.

.....A couple years ago, my darling "shining star" Yorkie, Baxley was also hit by a car and killed. I just can't really explain how much I loved that little dog. He was just always there for me and he really was like my best friend. When Baxley was killed by a car, I was in disbelief. I was actually angry at God. I remember my parents trying to comfort me on our back porch, but I was so shocked, so deeply sad that I became angry at God and a little hysterical. I cried out to God things like, "Why did you let this happen?! Why did you let him die?!" I did not ask the Lord these questions respectfully, I asked him angrily and that was wrong. Because of my being upset at God, I think it was harder for me to receive His comfort that He offers.

......So as we drove in the car, up our driveway, after just finding out that my darling cat, Tommy was dead, through my tears and my sobs I also said, "God loves me." "I know God loves me, I know God loves me. God didn't want this to happen; I know God loves me."

I've had to pray a few times for God to help me not to be angry at Him. It is so easy to blame God when we face troubles. But God has given me extraordinary comfort, and I believe He wanted me to say that night "I know God loves me." I do hope you know how much God loves you.

I don't know if this was a test from God or the Enemy, or if it was no test at all. But what I do know is that I've learned from it. Even when I feel sad telling about what happened to my little cat, I also feel a sense of spiritual strength when I remember how I responded to God, and how He responded to me with His never ending comfort.